There are many things unique to New York City - food trucks on every corner, daily events celebrating things as random as guacamole, and a variety of museums. There's one other thing that I didn't know about - beggars in the subway trains. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, this is how it works...every now and then someone will pass between cars while the train is in motion and will begin addressing the people in it. Usually they have a rehearsed little speech about being homeless and hungry and asking for money and food.
Over time, you become familiar with these individuals and know that begging is their profession. For example, I've heard one guy named Henry at least 5-6 different times and I remember him because he tells us how long it's been since he last ate (a number that isn't consistent from one day to the next) and when asking for help he says the word 'please' about 14-15 times...believe me it stands out. So when Henry comes on the train, I don't feel too compelled to give him money.
Every now and then, however, you get someone on the train asking for help that make you do a double take. The other day, a man come on the train and announced that he, his wife, and his 2 daughters recently lost everything they owned in a fire. He said he could provide proof if needed and asked for assistance. He said that he was even willing to pick up clothing donations.
As he made his way through my subway car, I stood there debating if I believed him or not. If he was lying and I gave him money, I would just be enabling something I didn't believe in - taking the easy way out to make a buck. As you know, I am in between jobs right now, so I understand the challenges involved in getting a job and I don't think it's okay to just make money off of other people's emotions. On the other hand, if his story true, then giving him a dollar would be helping out someone who was down and facing a very difficult time...very different situation, right?
It all really came down to if I believed this man or not. Would I be okay with not helping him out if he really was telling the truth? Sometimes we all just need a helping hand, so should I take part in helping him? But what if this was a scam playing on my emotions? I don't want to be taken for a ride. While I debated back and forth, I missed my chance to make a decision because he had already left.
Afterwords, I couldn't help but think about this change in me. A year ago, if I met someone who told me that he lost everything in a fire, I would've believed him and offered him support...even if it was in the form of a dollar. Has being in New York made me cynical of everyone and everything around me? Is this how I really want to be?
On the way home that same day, guess who happened to be on my train - that same man. This time I took it as a sign...a way for me to ease my conscience...and I gave him a dollar. He humbly thanked me and moved on. Yes, I realize that the fire story may have been his thing, but selfishly, what mattered more to me was my need to believe him and my ability to help him. In a city where having your guard up is a daily necessity, that dollar allowed this Texas girl to hold on to a couple of values...the importance of believing people and believing that I can help. That day I learned the value of a dollar can be a lot more than what I previously thought...
